The last time I had a detailed chat with Rashi Mal, she promised to surprise me with her upcoming project. And here she is, ready to take the audience on a roller coaster ride on a thrilling ride with Baaton Mulaqaton Mein
In an exclusive conversation with Filmibeat Assistant Editor Abhishek Ranjit over a phone call, Rashi Mal got candid about her music video and how she explored different facets like body dysmorphia and self-acceptance through her new project.
Did you know Baaton Mulaqaton Mein was originally made for a film? The artist spilled the beans as she bared her heart with Filmibeat.
Here are excerpts from the interview-
1. Your latest music video, ‘Baaton Mulaqaton Mein’, explores body image, body dysmorphia and self-acceptance. What inspired you to tell this story through music and visual storytelling?
The song was originally made for this lovely film, ‘Culture Vulture ‘, in which I play the lead. It is directed by Sudhish Kamath and co-stars Nagesh Kukunoor and Suchitra Pillai, and has a cameo by the legendary mr Cameron Crowe (director if Jerry Maguire). For the film, I wrote it as a romantic song. The film has not yet found the right release yet unfortunately, but when I thought of releasing the song independently, I wanted to give it
a very different spin. Girl- boy stories are aplenty. And so it morphed into a different form of love – the self kind. Being in this business, I have definitely experienced some form of body dysmorphia where I would only focus on my flaws and see microscopic imperfections that no one else saw. My own journey through that was the inspiration.
Self-acceptance can also become a tricky concept to depict. You need it to be interesting and not preachy. This is where my multidisciplinary training really came in handy. Using music with dance and acting therefore became the obvious way to go.
2. You have spoken about experiencing body image struggles yourself while growing up in the public eye. How have these experiences shaped your relationship with yourself and your perspective on self-acceptance?
I think especially when you are in the arts, people so freely comment on your looks and your body. It’s such a normalised part of our work. And I get it, it is a visual medium, but what it often does to an impressionable mind, and to someone who doesn’t have a fully formed sense of self yet, is that it creates all these issues.
I remember even when I was dancing 12 hours a day, I used to be so self-conscious because I had gotten it in my head that I was not in shape.I look at those pictures now with new eyes and see how skinny I was. It breaks my heart. The competition and the constant commentary on how a dancer is supposed to look really messed with many peoples sense of self.I knew girls who used to throw up their food and starve themselves. Even as an actor, someone made a comment about my cheeks once.My cheeks of all the things and it’s weird how our mind and body work because I started putting on weight on my face after that, because that comment would not leave me. I am now in a much different place.While I still have my moments, I know what I bring to the table now and I know who I am. I also have started allowing myself to be human. I definitely give myself more grace while still making sure I am taking care of myself to stay healthy and fit.
3. Appearance and physical standards are often closely scrutinised in the entertainment industry. How do you navigate these expectations, and what changes would you like to see in the industry’s approach to body image?
It’s a tricky thing, because we are in a very visual medium. And centuries of socialisation have set up a certain beauty/aesthetic standard that we all subscribe to. I don’t think there is anything wrong in wanting to be your fittest and healthiest. It becomes a problem
when it is punitive as a measure of your worth and attractiveness in general. I think as far as actors go, this conversation will always remain because every part is written to be performed by a person who fits certain physical attributes. It is also hard to ensure that those decisions are purely script driven as opposed to being personal preferences.
Because art is subjective and each person is paid to bring their unique perspective. I think sensitisation and handling these conversations with delicacy, however, can go a long way. Also self reflection by the people making casting choices, along with having a work environment where biases can be healthily challenged, is important.
As far as I am concerned, I think I am finally at a point where I feel comfortable in my skin. While criticism can still hurt, it doesn’t rattle me as much as it did earlier. Going back home to a family that has my back also helps wash off the negative energy of the day. So I consider myself blessed.
4. The music video uses movement and choreography to express emotions that can be difficult to put into words. How did you approach portraying such a personal and sensitive subject through physical expression?
I think this is where years of dance training just took over automatically.I knew what I wanted in concept. I think these subjects work best with symbolism as opposed to being too on the nose. I knew with choreography I wanted Bob Fosse’s inspired movements, especially the way he played with hands and fingers.
I also knew I wanted magnifying glasses, photo frames, the mirror and of course, the gloved hands that became the intrusive thoughts. It was about finding the right people to not only help bring my vision to life, but to enhance it. Kabeer Khurana, the director and I had previously worked together on a wonderful short, co-starring Mr Javed Jaffrey, that has still not been released, unfortunately. So I knew his sensibilities and quirky style were the perfect fit. He is also very into cubist art and he drew out the frames that added so much character to the film.
God is in the details and Stuti Babbar, my Production Designer, with her keen eye, brought in the perfect elements that tied everything so beautifully. God knows how long it took to find a vernier caliber in the right size and colour. Rohit Bhatnagar, the choreographer, is also trained in Jazz/Ballet and contemporary, much like myself .He with his team of dancers gave me everything I imagined and more. And then of course Neha Parti Matiyani, our wonderful DOP, brought her years of experience to make it what it is visually. I really feel blessed to have gotten such a wonderful team.
It seldom happens that a set works so smoothly and cohesively. I think one of the biggest reasons for that was that everybody loved what we were trying to make, everyone came for the love of art.
5. You have deliberately left the music video’s narrative open to interpretation. Why was it important for you to allow viewers to connect with the song and its visuals in their own way?
Because art is and always has been subjective. Much like the Rorschach test in psychology, everybody looks at things through the tinted glasses of their own lived experiences. The purpose of art is never to impose a singular narrative. It is to get
people to feel, to think, to start a conversation even. I love when people have really different interpretations of something I have made…something I would not have thought of. That really makes me happy.
6. Self-acceptance is often described as a journey rather than a destination. What does it mean to you personally, and how has your understanding of it evolved over the years?
I was a very inhibited and self-conscious child. I did however, recognise very early on that people on stage had tapped into something – a kind of freedom that I envied. Actors, dancers, singers -all artists. And I know that is why I gravitated towards the arts, to find my truest expression, to be able to feel that comfortable in my skin. Self acceptance has definitely been a journey and continues to be an everyday pursuit for me. Years of conditioning don’t get undone overnight. However, I am happy that I am much closer to being the person I always wished to be.
7. You have built a career across acting, singing, songwriting and dancing. How do these different art forms influence one another, and which allows you to express your most personal experiences?
They are all so intertwined that I don’t see them as separate. Of course a lot of hardcore training went into each that continues to this day but they are all means of expression in the end. Being a dancer and singer really help with body language and voice modulation as an actor. Being an actor really helps with performance while singing and dancing.
With this latest production what I have realised is that I love bringing them all together. I would like to think that that will be my biggest forte as a producer and creative director going forward.
8. Through Wishing Wand Productions, you are building your own creative platform. What inspired you to establish your independent production banner, and what kind of stories do you hope to bring to audiences through it?
Fun fact – I actually came up with the name ‘Wishing Wand Productions’ when I was a little kid, editing a birthday video for my dad. I don’t think I knew back then that I would end up being an artist, what with no one in my family being in the performing arts. But clearly the desire was building latently.
It officially began when I wanted to put out my first original music video and of course ‘Wishing Wand Productions’ was the name I went with. Now having worked on bunch of projects, I think I trust myself to be able to put together good teams that truly care about art. I would always like to retain that as the core of everything we do. I think I’d like to create visually interesting narratives that are both thought provoking and yet entertaining.
9. From co-writing and singing ‘Buri Buri’ for Dear Maya to releasing your EP Rashionality Ch.1, how has your journey as a singer-songwriter evolved, and what have you learnt about yourself through music?
I think for one I have definitely grown more confident in my skills. I remember the version
of me that was too scared to even share a written song with people because I wasn’t sure it was good enough. I think I have also gotten more courageous to try something different with each release. Buri Buri was a total teeny bobber Bollywood song and also had a rap section in it that I had written. My EP was more Lo-fi and this song is so Jazz. Visually too they are all so far removed from each other.
Buri Buri was of course a proper big-scale film song; the EP had a more graphic art-heavy approach with stop motion. This one is a full out artistic experiment. As my Ep title suggested, I think I have so far been in Chapter 1 in my musical journey. However I can feel the new chapter brewing and I think it will bring a different sound.
10. With projects such as New Clear Rule, a live production and a film in development, what creative directions are you excited to explore next? What do you hope audiences take away from your latest music video?
I am most excited to continue bringing all my worlds together… like I did with this music video. Movement and music add another dimension to storytelling and being able to combine that with my acting felt particularly rewarding.
As far as this music video is concerned, like I said, art is so subjective. I would love for each person to make their own meaning from it. As long as it makes them feel something, I would consider it a success.